GOAL!!

No I'm not watching soccer.

My friend Lacy Chu (fake name to protect the innocent...lol), sent me a youtube link about this organization. It reminded me about this great organization. I found them on the internet last year when I was planning on going back to Korea. I actually visited there office in Seoul.

They offer many great services to adopted Koreans. They help with family searches, setting up trips to Korea, and language programs. Here is the link to their website if your interested:

http://www.goal.or.kr/eng/

Here is the great documentary. Its in Korean, however the interviews are all in English because they are all Korean adoptees who only speak Korean. Plus you can see the emotions they go through. Be warned, have a box of tissues ready.
Episode 1:

Episode 2:

Episode 3:

Episode 4:

Episode 5:

Episode 6:

Nothing Beats Home Cooking! (Part II)

So not even 24 hours later, my family went back to Hanguk for another "home cooked" Korean meal at my request!!! My family is so nice! They know how much I miss Korean food!

This time, my family was joined by my grandpa, my cousin and his wife!

I had dweiji bulgogi (spicy pork):


Here is my cousin, Pat, enjoying his Japchae!!


If you couldn't tell he's adopted...

In our family we say that he and his older brother and younger sister are adopted. This is because in our family, there are 4 adopted Korean grandkids, and 3 biologic grandkids. So the adopted Korean grandkids outnumber the biological kids. So its our inside joke that totally confuses everyone when we explain that the white kids are the "adopted" grandkids in our family...lol. We are definitely not concerned about being Politically Correct...lol

My cousin is married to Megan (pronounced Mee - gan, NOT Meh-gan!!!) who also joined us for lunch. She had bulgogi, but I won't show the picture I took of her eating. My cousin Pat and I have no dignity when it comes to food. Megan is much higher class than Pat or I so I'll spare her photo. She does enjoy bulgogi, but I don't think we have her converted on kimchi yet. You would be proud of Pat, he can put away kimchi with the best of Koreans!

Published

I think I posted before that I was contacted by the Korean Herald about writing a human interest article about being adopted.

Well, if your in Korea, you can pick up a Tuesday and Wednesday copy, you will see my article. It was originally only supposed to be 1 page, but after I got done they decided to print the whole thing over two days!

If your not in Korea, or unable to find it, you can read it:
HERE

I hope that works. It should take you to a google webpage that has 3 pdf documents at the bottom of it. Click on those pdf files, they are pdf's of the article.

Marriage and Christmas Trees!

As my 5 readers know, Ive been taking private Korean lessons from student at Washington University in St Louis. I'll have to say that I am very surprised at how well it is working. I "found" my tutor on the internet, and I was a little skeptical because I had no clue what I was getting myself into. "Jackie" is her American name, but she was born and raised in Korea, and her parents still live in Korea. However, she is technically a US citizen and has a US passport. But she insists that she is not a "gyopo", she's only a "FOB"...lol. I find it funny that Koreans find the term "gyopo" offensive, but don't mind being called a "FOB"..lol

What I like about our lessons is that we discuss grammar, pronunciation, and culture. Since we meet twice a week, we usually do grammar one day and on the other we practice speaking and pronunciation. Culture usually gets tied in with speaking.

I had a lesson last night. It was grammar night, but we got onto a culture topic that I found interesting. She told me that tomorrow (which is today), would be her 300th day. I was pretty confused. I knew Koreans celebrated their 100th day anniversery but I never knew of 300. Then she informed me that they even celebrate 200th day! I asked what was the customs for each of these days. I had seen on Korean dramas that guys sometimes get the girls 100 roses. Now that could get pretty expensive on 200 and 300th day anniverseries!

She told me that on their 100th day, her boyfriend gave her a ring. I knew this was a custom in Korea called "Couple Rings". She asked me if Americans do this. I had to laugh. I told her guys usually will not give a girlfriend a ring unless he is asking her to marry him. She didn't understand why. I had to explain the whole engagement and wedding thing and how in the US a ring is usually meant for engagement and most guys will stay clear of that until they are ready to get married. However in Korea, "couple rings" is I guess the equivalent of a guy giving a girl his school ring to wear? It doesn't mean they are agreeing to get married like in the US.

After this she asked me if I was going to ever get married. That caught me by surprise! "well, yea eventually, someday..." I stammared as I recovered... Then she asked how old I was, and I told her I was 28. She explained that, that was probably too young still! I was surprised by that! From what Ive seen in Korean dramas, Korean girls are really pressured to get married before 30, because after 30 its as if its too late! I assumed it was similar for guys. I asked her about this and she explained that its different for guys. She said for guys in Korea, getting married in the early 30s is good. This is because he can finish school, his military service, and be well grounded in his career.

However, apparently for girls its a lot younger. And here comes where the title of this post ties in. Jackie then made a statement which she had to explain: "For girls and marraige they are like Christmas trees"!!??!??!?!?!!??? What???? I was totally confused. Then she went on to explain. Apparently in Korea the perfect age for a female to get married is 25.

The analogy with the Christmas Tree? Well before December 25th people want to buy a Christmas trees and decorate them up, the 25th (Christmas Day) is perfect and the purpose of a Christmas tree, and each day after Christmas gets more difficult to sell a Christmas tree because no one wants one. So this is saying, marrying a girl younger than 25 is like "eye candy" and used to decorate. Marrying a 25 year old girl is perfect and is the perfect marrying age. Then each year after 25 is more difficult for a girl to get married because guys don't want to marry a girl that is past 25!

All I have to say is "THANK GOODNESS IM A GUY!!!!"...Otherwised I'd be the "Charlie Brown" Christmas tree with brown needles that no one wants to buy! I would have missed my prime marrying age! lol. Luckily since I am a guy, there is still hope for me, I still have several more years!

I asked Jackie if this type of thought is changing in Korea since more women are working and having careers. She said no. That hasn't seemed to change the belief about women getting married by 25.

Clarification!

So I had Korean lessons tonight. With a bona fide Korean. Or at least the closest one I can find. She technically is a US citizen and has been here for several years. However, the vast majority of her friends are Koreans and she preferentially speaks Korean.

I asked her if she ever heard of FOB, and Banana. She laughed and said that she's a FOB. I tried to correct her and tell her that she's a Gyopo...oh boy you should have seen the "look" I got!!! The infamous Korean stank eye!

She corrected my misunderstandings. Apparently the "rankings" go like this:

American (white) - Banana/twinkie (me) - Gyopo - FOB - Korean

I tell you what. Apparently its OK to call a Korean a FOB in the US..but dont you dare call them a gyopo!! lol.

I think most of my friends would be in the Banana/twinkie or maybe gyopo categories, although they sometimes have FOBie tendencies. However, I don't think I know many people who are true FOBs.

The lines between all of these seems really clear to me...with the exception of gyopo-FOB separation. Is there an exact number of years that separates between gyopo-FOB or what is the exact criteria for that split? After how many years in the States does it take before a FOB becomes a gyopo?

I know Im way over analyzing this whole issue, but I love it! lol...

Twinkie or Banana?

So, my friend (who shall remain nameless at this time) emailed me and said that I need to post more, and I do not disagree!!

I used to post all the time, back when I worked in Africa. There was not much else to do in Africa, and when I was at home, again, there was not much else to do. Now I work in the US and near St. Louis, so there is a lot to do! However, I do find that I get bored sometimes sitting at home, and thats when I should be posting. So, my New Year's Resolution (I know its not that time yet) is to blog more frequently. Also, I am hoping my new blog design will be done soon....its taking a lot longer than I expected!

Anyways onto the post.

My same friend, we'll call her "Lacy Chu", told me a story about twinkies and bananas. Who doesnt like twinkies? As for bananas, I tolerate them. She was not talking about food....too bad, eh? She read my post about FOBies (btw, I consider her a FOB), and explained what a twinkie and banana were. Besides the food; apparently twinkie and banana are the terminology used for people who are "yellow on the outside" and "white in the middle"...LOL.

I know again this is probably not exactly the most PC terminology but I cracked up laughing when I read this. "Lacy" claims that she's not a FOB and that she's actually a banana. I would like to disagree, because if she's a banana, then what am I? I am definitely a banana, I look asian on the outside but I am definitely "white" on the inside. I talk and think like a white person. So I now have an un-PC category that I belong too!!! Of course it doesnt sound as cool as FOB. FOB is great because you can use it as a word like "your so FOBie"; "Your so banana" doesnt make much sense. So Im going to start a quest to come up with a better word for people like me "Yellow on the Outside, White in the Middle)

Its too bad that "Lacy" has a hard time accepting her FOBness status. I have a generalization between these two categories. I would have to say 99% of the 1st or 2nd generation Korean-American (who have Korean parents) are probably FOB. If you don't have Korean parents (such as myself, being adopted) or 3rd generation or later, then you are more than likely a banana or twinkie. Lacy falls under the category of "2nd generation, living with Korean parents".

What Lacy doesn't understand is all of the "environmental" factors. Even though she has never been to Korea, she has been raised under a "Korean regime"...lol. She hasn't yet realized how her Korean parents have influenced her character with the "Korean way". Someday when she gets to be an old ajumma; with a perm, who hordes plastic bags, and comments on everyone's weight, maybe, just maybe then she will realize that indeed she was a FOB!

As for me, I have found my new sub-category! Im excited to be a banana, not too keen on the name, but Im going to work on that!

Lacy...I'll keep posting if you keep giving me ideas...maybe someday we can convince Lacy to post here as a "guest blogger". I think she secretly wants to blog...she just doesnt know it yet.

Fresh Off the Boat

So I was hanging out with some friends on Friday night, when they introduced me to a new word that I never heard of before.

They kept talking about how "FOB" someone was or that was a "FOB"ie thing to do...
I kept hearing them use it, and I was totally confused by what they meant. So I finally asked what it meant.

Apparently it means "Fresh Off the Boat". I don't know what happened to the letter "T" in that acronym, it probably got left off for pronuciation purposes.

I know its probably not the most politically correct word (if you really knew me you would know I really wouldnt care if it was or not...lol), but I figure its ok since they were using it to describe themselves and their friends.

From what I gather it is similar to what Koreans refer to as Gyopos. Except FOB could mean any ethnicity, not just Korean. It just so happens that some of these friends happen to be Korean.

The term FOB is a little confusing because some of the people they were referring too, had been born in the US. Meanwhile I was not considered a FOB, even though I was born overseas and literally came here on a boat (or airplane...modern times equivalent). "FOB" apparently has more to do with culture than actual geography.

Since I am practically "white" in terms of speaking, thinking, and culture I don't qualify as a "FOB". While some people who have always lived in the US, have had enough of an influence from environmental factors such as family members to be classified as a "FOB".

I guess "FOB"s are people who might not understand idioms or irony when used in the English language. The way they think or their values may be different from "mainstream" society in the US. This part I have a little bit harder time understanding. But I think a "FOB" relates to a foreign culture. Not to say they have not done a good job of integrating, but to say that they have exterrior influences beyond the US.

This is a very interesting topic to me; which is obviuosly why I am writing about it. I was wondering if anyone else out there has heard this terminology and their thoughts on what it means. Do you consider yourself a "FOB"ie? I guess those of you in Korea from the US would be "FOB"s in Korea...lol, there's a little irony.

To be honest, a part of me is a little jealous of "FOB"s. I can't explain why. I think its because Ive worked so hard all of my life to be integrated into American society, that I "lost" my "FOB"ness, and now I found a whole "pocket" of "FOB"s. I think maybe its a new thing to me so I am fascinated by it. I have never known that many people who would be classified as "FOB"s, now in St. Louis I have a lot of "FOB" friends. Maybe its my fascination with learning and experiencing new things, maybe I want to experience what its like to be "FOB"...lol. I think it would be easier for me to just move somewhere else in the world and become "FOB" there.

I do have to say, I consider myself lucky to find so many cool "FOB" friends.

Korean Lessons!

I love my Korean lessons!!! This is exactly what I needed to do. I have tried Rosetta Stone and Pimsleur CDs. Supposedly the best programs in their respective fields. While they are cheaper ($300 for Rosetta Stone and $250 for Pimsleur) then several classes and definitely cheaper than a private tutor (going rate seems to be about $30 per hour), they just don't compare to the face to face interaction.

When I had no other alternative Rosetta Stone and Pimsleur were fine. The problems I see with using these methods were:
1. You had to rely on your own ear on whether or not you are pronouncing the words correctly. Which is OK for a Romance language (ie French or Spanish), but for a new language that does even share the same alphabet base, this task is near impossible.
2. Learning proper grammer and sentance structure takes a lot longer.
3. No one to ask questions about pronunciations or grammer.
4. Boring. Do you realize how boring it is sitting in front of a computer? Wait...that sounds like my job...lol...j/k.

Anyways, if you can afford it I would highly recommend a class oe tutor over a self taught program. Maybe you can trade cooking lessons for language classes?