In Search of the Perfect travel mug!

I thought it would be nice to talk about something different for a post.

I travel a lot for work....A Lot....Every Friday through Tuesday I fly to Corpus Christi and Houston.

I also work in a fabrication yard (similar to a construction yard), so if I want to enjoy a nice cup of joe from Starbucks, I have to drink it in the 15 minute car ride to the yard. As most of you know, those paper cups they give keep the drink warm for a whole 20 minutes? If were lucky?

So last week I went on a "shopping" spree and bought 3 different highly ranked travel mugs. The first one I am trying this week! It is by Brugo, and has this "innovative" feature called "Tip and Cool", where you tip the cup backwards and side to side and it stores a small amount of hot beverage in the top of the mug to cool down faster.
So when you take a drink, it is the right temperature for drinking. This is a cool feature, however, I found it annoying having to tip backwards and side to side after every drink. It would be much better if they figured out a way to do this without requiring any additional motion. Sure you can say that I am lazy, but if you ever try it, Im sure you'll agree!

It also has a "Lock" and "Sip" option. The "Lock" does not work perfectly. I found out that if you tip it upside down, it still seeps out the liquid (not a gushing stream) but enough that I wouldn't want to do it on a regular basis. But it is definitely better than a cup without the feature. Also, if you use the "Tip and Cool" feature, the small amount of liquid that is cooling down is outside of the lock feature so it will spill like a normal mug if tipped over. The "Sip" option makes the mug like any other mug where you can drink unlimited amounts of scalding hot beverage. Switching between the modes requires two hands, by turning a dial on the top...but once switched it is one handed operation to drink!

The big factor for me is how long it will keep my drink hot. An hour after I purchased my Starbucks coffee this morning; I open up the "Sip" feature and scalded my tongue...yup still blazing hot!

As for looks, it gets a 10! I even got a compliment on it from the Starbucks person who filled up my mug! That's pretty impressive since it's not one of their products!

If you are looking for a 100% sealing/locking mug, this is not it. It will let a little spill out. However, it won't let liquid splash out from a brisk walk/run or even a fast tip over. I would have to admit that it is a really good mug. I was a little disappointed that it wasn't 100% leak proof, but you can't have everything in the World. I would definitely recommend the mug as does an excellent job keeping the beverage hot. Plus, the "Tip and Cool" feature will save your tongue at the beginning half of any hot beverage!

Out of "Retirement"

If you really like my blog you can thank Diane for this...

If you really hate my blog, you can thank Diane for that! LOL

Diane recently asked me to come out of retirement to comment on a new article of hers.....it was a ambush I think. Anyways, it has got me all fired up, and I'm ready to get back on this.

I don't even know if anyone even follows my blog anymore, but I'll keep writing, and maybe it'll make a difference to someone some day.

how to plan a vacation!

So I was talking to a friend of mine (the one who convinced me that I need to blog again), and I was trying to convince them of taking a vacation. They just graduated from school and now have a job and are earning a paycheck! I asked where they were going to go on vacation with their newfound freedom and money! My friend replied that they didn't know how too and were scared a little of how to schedule a vacation. So this is for my friend in Chicago, who has only been to the Shedd Aquarium once!

Since I have traveled probably more than 99.9% of the population my age, I figured I would give my friend some help/advice!

Step 1: Figure out where you want to go! My friend has an interest in Vancouver for the Olympics in 2010, so we will use that!

Step 2: Figure out when (dates) you are going to go. Since it is for the Olympics, the dates are pretty much set. The Olympics are in February 12 - 28th, 2010. The gold round for female figure skating is Feb 25th and the Gold round for the best short track speed skating is Feb. 26th!

Step 3: Figure out your budget. This is obviously going to be pretty expensive...it is the Olympics. For this trip lets say $5000. I know it may seem like a lot, but it is the Olympics.

Step 4: Flights. Since it is pretty common location Orbitz, Travelocity, Expedia all work well. I found a flight on Orbitz on Continental for $637 total for a 1 stop flight from St. Louis to Vancouver. I know some people are willing to make multiple stops for a cheaper flight, but remember you are paying money for your vacation and taking time off from work for this...do you really want to waste time flying further and wasting time in airports? Also don't forget to sometimes check individual airline websites because sometimes they have promotions(I highly doubt anyone is goign to for the Olympics). Also, if your traveling in the US, Southwest is often the cheapest but does not sell tickets on Orbitz.

Step 5: Hotels. This can change your cost a lot! To some people this is important, to others its just where you sleep and you plan to spend most of your time outside. Depending on what I am planning on doing, I will decide how nice of a hotel I want. Remember, sometimes staying a little further out will save you a lot! As we will see in this example. Because of the Olympics all of the hotels have inflated prices and are booked! Even the Holiday Inn Express has a nightly rate of over $500/night! If your willing to travel 40 miles the hotel rooms get reduced dramatically! back to normal $100+/night! 45 minutes away , 35 minutes away

Step 6: Figure out what your going to do. Since these tickets are already sold out, your going to have to find tickets through brokers (which means they will be more expensive). To do this simply google what your looking for! You'll be amazed at what you'll find! It is a little bit risky buying tickets online if you have never done it before. I would normally recommend buying direct, but in this case they are sold out. www.stubhub.com is a good place to find tickets as you will also find other brokers. Here is what I found: Short Track Speed Skating Gold Round and Women's Figure Skating Gold Round. As you can see the cheapest tickets for both of these events is going to cost about $800 total and can go all the way up to thousands of dollars!

So there it is...all in a few minutes!
Flight: $637
Hotel: $600 (assuming you stay at the 35 minute hotel for 3 nights, and factoring in taxes)
Tickets: $800
Food: $400 (assuming $100 a day, remember everything is going to cost more at the Olympics)
Total: $2437

You may think this is a lot, but it is truly a once in a lifetime experience! Personally I would spend more money to either stay longer or get better seats (to improve my experience). Since this is really a once in a lifetime event, you might want to splurge a little.

Update!

I know I have not posted in so long! I actually do feel bad. I have been so busy its unbelievable! So I figured my first post back would give an update:

I sold my house about a month ago. I moved into central St. Louis area. I did this because I started school about a month ago also. I am going to school at Washington University in St Louis for my MBA. I have classes on Tuesday and Thursday from 6:15 to 9:15 PM.

On top of all this, my traveling continues! it was supposed to stop by now, but it looks like I might be traveling to Corpus Christi several more times!

I know I talked to several other people who did their MBA while working, like I am doing now, and they said it would be tough but it was worth it....all I have to say is...I really hope its worth it! It's amazing how little time I have anymore!

My two classes I am taking right now are "Organizational Behavior" and "Introduction to Management and Strategy". I really like the strategy class, and I am now thinking this is maybe what I want to do in the future. The Organizational Behavior is more of a socialogy/psychology class....which Im not so hot about. Its a lot of touchy feely stuff...the other engineers that got their MBA warned me about these types of classes. I don't hate it as much as they said I would, I don't particularly enjoy it either, but I do find a few things interesting. I can't wait until next half-semester when I get to take statistics and analytical decision making! Now those are two classes that an engineer or math nerd can appreciate!! I can't wait!

Hiatus

I can't believe its been over a month since I last posted. Im not sure if anyone still reads (hard to "still read" when nothing new is posted).

One of my real life friends who watches my blog has been bugging me to post again. It might also be that she has moved away and misses the good ole' St. Louis? I have been procrastinating, because in truth, I just don't know what to post about. I feel that I have exhausted the Korean topic, and its really tough to blog about that when you live in the US...particularly in St. Louis, where there is almost no Korean culture.

Ive grown weary of the adoption topic. While I have learned a lot, and thought a lot about this topic, I feel that I have worn myself out on this topic.

My friend suggested that I just write about whats going on in my life, so I guess I'll start doing that. Although I can't imagine that being particular interesting...again, I think its because she misses St. Louis! LOL.

This weekend was crazy and a lot of fun. I wish I had my camera but I forgot to bring it with me. Saturday night my friends had an ice cream social to kick off the summer.

Then on Sunday night we celebrated the birthdays of 3 of our friends, with a grill out. Everyone brought their own meat and we grilled it. There were various steaks, brats, burgers (even the non-meat variety), and kabobs. It was delicious. My friends Nicci and Leo and I decided to splurge a little and bought filets. I put sea salt and pepper on them and then slowly grilled them for 40 minutes. Leo said he wanted it medium (pink but no blood), but he kept saying that didn't think it was possible because filets are so thick. I told him, not to concern himself with it, and I knew what I was doing. Well, after 40 minutes of grilling, they came out perfect! Pink in the middle, no blood, and the tenderest steak I have ever eaten! Yum! Unfortunately we ate them so quickly, there was no time to get a picture! Maybe next time.

Grad School!

Well, it looks like everything might work out! Last year, I decided to quit my job and company in Africa, to find a new job/company back in the US so I could go back to school to pursue a MBA degree.

I found out this week that I got accepted into Washington University in St. Louis!

Hopefully my work travel schedule will work out so that I can start!

Im excited and nervous about being a student again! I will be doing the evening program so I can continue working. I will probably be pretty busy with work and school work at the same time! But I'm looking forward to being back on a campus!

Being Grateful...

It feels good to be writing again. My life has been pretty crazy lately. Work has me traveling a lot which really restricts my writing process...lol

Anyways, I was perusing through the typical blogs and came across one talking about the expectation of being grateful for being adopted. Maybe I read it wrong, but it felt like there was some resentment towards that "expectation"?

It made me think about how I view the definition of "grateful" and what it meant to me.

To me: Gratefulness is a self attitude of thankfulness or appreciation for something, usually undeserving. Gratefulness usually is tied to a current condition, although you can be grateful something didn't happen to you.

You can't be grateful if you are enacting it just because someone tells you..however should we not be grateful for everything?

I am grateful that I am adopted. I don't know why this is such a hard thing for some adoptees to deal with or feel like they are pressured to be by society? You can't be pressured into gratefulness because it is a self attitude.

I know that being adopted is not ideal. I know that in a perfect world I would not have been adopted. But that does not, and should not, prevent me from being grateful for being adopted.

So what causes someone to be grateful? Why are some adoptees grateful for being adopted and some not? Well since it is a self attitude, I guess it has to do with some inner self reflection and thought? I know a lot of people hate the attitude of "move on", but it is so true, I don't know how to formulate a thought without that mentality. No amount of reflection, self loathing, or anything else will change the fact that I was adopted in the first place. So I guess I have to "move on" past the fact that I was adopted. Now you can "move on" with a bitterness towards what happened to you and that the best scenario didn't work out, indifferance, or gratefulness that something worse didn't happen. I guess my feeling is if you live your life always looking back and reflecting on how much better it could have been, I realize that you miss what is going on now, and actually make what is going on now worse because I am bringing that negative attitude to what is happening now.

So in light of this here is a quick list of what I am grateful for:

1. I am grateful that my birth mother gave birth to me (the alternative is so much worse!)

2. I am grateful that I was found in the bakery by the police (sure its not ideal, but better than roaming the streets at 3 years of age!)

3. I am grateful for Grace Home Orphanage in Daejeon, and my Orphanage mother and sister who I have met.

4. I am grateful for my parents, providing a home and family to me. It seems that some adoptees view that adoptive children make a family to APs, but they overlook that APs provide a family in return. Its a two way street.

5. I am grateful to adoption agencies. Even though there is a lot of difficulty with them, and they may be inefficient or corrupt at times. Without them I would have never been adopted.

6. I am grateful to visit my motherland, Korea. Even when it is difficult seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting things that I remember from when I was a child. Or even the pain I feel when I have to explain to the people that I can't speak Korean, and the look on their face. I am still grateful.

7. I am grateful to the Korean family that "adopted" me back when I visited Korea. I still am in touch with them and very much consider them family!

8. I am grateful for finding blogs. I started blogging 3/4 of a year ago and got me into writing about adoptions. It has really opened up a lot of emotions and feelings that I never explored before. But it is for the better. I am grateful that I "survived" the endeavor, and came out the same person as before.

About Me

So on Diane's (a faithful reader, who also blogs, but from an AP perspective) blog, the writers are telling about themselves. I have never done this, so I thought I would give it a try to let my few readers learn a little bit more about me.

1. Name: InMySeoul (obviuosly not my real name, but my blogger name)

2. Top 5 destinations: Korea, Korea, Korea, Korea, Korea....lol ok, seriously though Korea, Luang Prabang (Laos), Koh Tao (Thailand), Whistler (Canada), Vail (Colorado).

3. Favorite Films: Oh boy. Im a movie addict. I've seen them all I guess I'll have to do them by genres:
Action: Top Gun, Patton, Platoon
Foreign Film: My Sassy Girl
Comedy: Zoolander, Grumpy Old Men, Gran Torino
Chick Flicks: How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, 10 Things I Hate About You, My Sassy Girl

Seriously, if you have never seen "My Sassy Girl", You need too! Its the best chick flick I've ever seen. I'm a sucker for the romantic ending like the cowboy riding off into the sunset.

4. Favorite Foods - uh..it would be easier to list what I don't like...lol.
Anything Korean. My favorites are: Gamja Tang, Jjim Daek, and sunduboo.

5. Favorite Color for the home - Navy Blue

6. Favorite Room in your house - Tie between kitchen (I love to cook), and my family room where my tv, big speakers, and comfy couch are located!

7. Favorite color to wear - whatever is clean and comfortable at the time!

8. Favorite season - winter with lots of snow!!

9. favorite zoo animal - I never really liked the zoo much, because it smelled. I always had fun at the polar bear exhibit, and also watching the hippos fart in the pool. I was mature for my age...lol

10. Favorite Farm Animal - none. I was raised in the city and I am a city slicker

11. Favorite time of day - morning and late late night. Wierd combination I know.

12. Favorite Type of Book - anything that gets my interest. I don't have any one genre.

13. First Job - babysitting for my sister's friends.

14. Oddest Job - hmm..never really had one. probably working at a nursery school?

15. Are you easily embarrassed? yes, usually, depending on the subject.

16. Any Phobias? Yes. I am an introvert so I hate meeting new people, I hate large groups of people. Ironically, my friends don't realize this and think I'm an extrovert, but thats only because I am good at forcing myself to overcome this weakness. The fear of falling (not heights, just the dropping part). Also I have a phobia of birds; I can't stand their legs, beaks, and feathers. I'm ok eating them as long as I dont think about the above three things.

17. Any Quirks? Oh I'm sure I have them. Im a single guy, so I know I have a few. I don't like feet. Growing up, I would wear shoes from the moment I woke up until I went to bed (even laying on the couch!). My mother says I have "baby feet" because to this day they are so soft and tender. I have had to overcome this recently because for the first time in my life, I have made friends with Asians, who incidently don't wear shoes inside the house!

I don't like giving or receiving hugs, kisses, or other forms of PDA.

18. Favorite song to sing with your kids: Well, I dont have kids. I remember my mom's favorite song: "You're 16" by Ringo Starr. If I did have kids I would probably sing: "As I Lay Me Down" by Sophie Hawkins. Awesome song, probably one of my favorites!

19. Favorite music when you were a teen: Oh man, I love everything except country. If I had to narrow it down, probably grunge and Punk. I love Nirvana, Pearl Jam, and most punk music.

20. Five words to describe you - LOUD, nerd, decisive (everything is black and white, no gray), energetic, reliable.

21. If you were offered a free trip to the moon would you go? Depends on who else was going. If it was by myself, NO. (I worked in a lab for a summer, it sucks being by yourself for a long time!)

22. Favorite TV shows when you were a kid - Party of 5, Full House, Family Matter

23. Favorite children's book - The Little Engine that Could, any Richard Scary books (because of the name)

24. Least favorite household chore - all of them!

25. Open up your local paper and write down your horoscope for today - sorry, don't have a newspaper, and actually I don't read them.

"Voices from Another Place"

This is the latest book I have read. It is a collection of short stories, poems, and art written/created by Korean adoptees. It is a very cool concept, although the application was a little weak. The book is just a hodgepodge of writings.

While the layout could have been better, there are some excellent stories and poems in the book. There were 3 or 4 stories/poems that really "hit home" for me in this book. I'm not sure if its worth buying the book for just 3 or 4 really good pieces of work?

Since it is impossible to sum up all of the emotions an adoptee feels, the only way to learn about it is to hear the stories of many adoptees. This book does provide for a lot of different feelings to be exposed, however it falls short in that the book has no organization.

At the end of the book, it gives a one or two sentence introduction of each artist, but i think the book would have been better if it had the "adoption" story of each artist prior to their work.

Like I said, I don't regret reading the book, but I'm not sure its worth the $10 price tag. I did find 3 or 4 really good pieces which I am glad to have found.

Orphanage mother

I have mentioned this before, but only in passing.

When I visited the orphanage I came from in Daejeon, I met my Orphanage mother! Its been 23 years since I was there last and she was still there! She cried and kept holding my hand and rubbing my cheeks! (my adoptive mother does this too!! I don't know what is with my cheeks, but for some reason my mothers always have to rub them!)

After hearing my story, I have come to greatly appreciate my orphanage mother. She gave me my Korean family name of "Yang", it is her family name. Even though I was only 3 at the time I was brought to the orphanage, she decided to keep me there (The orphanage is supposed to be for children 5 years and older). I was there for almost 2 years by the time I was adopted. Lastly, she had the youngest picture of me, that I didn't know existed. They took the picture the day I arrived at the orphanage. I was in clothes that I didn't recognize, and now thinking about it, I wonder if those were the clothes that I was found in, or if those were orphanage clothes? Maybe someday I'll ask.

She said that she was so thankful that I was well and had gotten a good education and had a good job. In my 23 years of being away, I never once thought about my orphanage mother. I've probably thought about my birth mother 10 times in my life, and of course my adoptive mother all the time, but my orphanage mother...I didn't even know one existed!

Apparently there were 4 of us that were adopted overseas from her "children". She said she was scared because she never heard back from any of us, and was constantly worried if she made the right choice of letting one of her "children" be adopted overseas. She then told me that one of my "brothers" visited from Germany a year before me! and that I was the second one to return "home"! She said she was so blessed that we were doing so well.

This really opened my eyes to the "unsung heroes" in my life.

In adoption we always talk about the birth mother, adoptive mother, and the adoptee, but never talk about the "orphanage mother" or people invovled in the orphanages where we came from. I wonder if my case is unique in that my "orphanage mother" has worked in the same orphanage for so long? I wonder how much of an imprint we (adoptees) leave behind on the workers that work at the orphanage.

This year for Valentine's Day I don't want to forget my "Orphanage Mother". I never realized until last year, that I had someone worrying about me at my orphanage.

Birth is More Than Once: The Inner World of Adopted Korean Children

This book was written by Hei Sook Wilkinson, and is more of a discertation than a novel. Its also quite short and kind of pricy if you calculate the price/page cost. I was pleasantly surprised how good of a read this book was. I was expecting some boring paper about adoption research. Instead I found it very interesting and very easy to read.

Hei Sook Wilkinson is a Korean Adoptee herself, and apparently very famous among the Adoptee and Asian Women circles for her work. The book is a non-fiction, and is the account of Hei Sook Wilkinson during her research of Korean Adoptees.

I would highly recommend this book to any Adoptive Parent or potential adoptive parent because it is very insightful. The information given in the book would be helpful for any foreign adoption. I would have to say it would be kind of useless for non-foreign adoptees as most of the issues discussed have to do with cultural based issues.

When I read the book, I did find myself saying "Well Duh!" Or "no kidding", but after some time and reflection I realized that to adoptees many of the things in this book are obvious, but probably not obvious to Adoptive Parents. Even though I did find a lot of things obvious, there were still a couple things I had never considered or realized myself. This made me try to think back when I was first adopted to remember how I felt.

Hei Sook Wilkinson postulates that all of the children in her study go through the same "phases" in their lives as they go through their adoption. The speed of which these "phases" pass is dependent on the children.

Again, I highly recommend this book. I think all Adoptive Parents should read it and I think even Adoptees should read it. I gives a good and clear insight on the psychology of the adoptee during the first years of adoption. I will post another post soon discussing one of the "Phases" that really hit home for me!

Adoption and Real Life

Usually racial things don't bother me. Being a foreign adoptee, I have just grown a thick skin to being different. Whether someone calls me Chinese, Japanese, or Filipino, or even racial slurs like chink, gook, or whatever, never seems to bother me. However what does sting sometimes is when people assume that my parents are Asian. I know this isn't seem logical. Since I am very Korean looking, it is only logical for other people to assume my parents look the same as I do. So I try not to fault them at all, because their thought process is logical.

That doesn't help the pain that I feel every once in a while, when someone does assume my parents are Asian. Its wierd, some days it affects me more than others. I think it has to do with my audience and who I am talking with.

This issue just came up yesterday and for some reason it really hurt. I had just finished playing a hockey game and we were in the locker room. For those of you who have never experienced a "locker room" setting, its pretty much a lot of testosterone and joking and usuall not very poliically correct talking. So the usual banter is going on; which usually consists of off-color jokes (ironic since our team is a melting pot of races, but anything goes in a locker room). Anyways, the Asian jokes don't bother me, however someone made a comment like "It's because you have an Asian mother, and she probably taught you that...". Innocent enough comment. I said "My mother isn't Asian". I got this wierd look, then I decided to let it go. It wasn't worth trying to explain.

Why did that comment hurt so much? I know the person who made the comment was not trying to be mean or hurtful, but for some reason it really pinched me.

Why did I have such a hard time telling them I was adopted? I don't know either. I think maybe because I'm already different enough. In case you don't follow hockey, there are not many Asians in the NHL. There are actually more blacks than Asians in the NHL! Its not like these guys are strangers anymore. I've been playing on the same team, with the same players for over 6 months now. But for some reason I just didn't want to explain to them that I was adopted. I don't usually have any problems telling people I'm adopted, but here was an instance where I didn't speak up. Was I just tired? Was I embarassed? I don't know. I just swallowed the lump in the back of my throat and finished getting changed, and walked out of the locker room.

"Fitting In" (Part 2)

I believe this is a big issue/concern for many foreign adoptees. At least in my personal experience it is probably the one I struggle with the most. For some odd reason, I have never really been driven by the typical question of "Why was I given up for adoption?". To be truthful, I'm not sure if I was abandoned or truly accidently lost. It was not uncommon for mothers to abandon their children as a way of "giving them up". So since I was found in a bakery, it could have been that my mother truly abandoned me or I could have been lost. In my mind, I was adopted and that was the end of it. It doesn't matter how I got here, but the fact that I am here now.

What I do struggle with sometimes is "fitting in". I remember as a child always wanting to fit in. I just recently read an interesting book written by Dr. Hei Sook Wilkinson titled "Birth Is More Than Once: The Inner World of Adopted Korean Children". Dr. Wilkinson writes about her study of 8 Korean adoptees in the Greater Detroit area. One of her findings that was common among all of the adoptees was their striving towards "fitting in". Common to all of the adoptees, was their disinterest in anything to do with Korea; This included culture, food, and language. Dr. Wilkinson observed that this was a temporary phase common in the development of the children. After some time, the children regained interest in their native country.

Since I was 5 years old when I was adopted, I had some capacity in the Korean language. My parents used to tell me about introducing me to Koreans who would try to speak to me in Korean but I would refuse or pretend not to understand them. This was even within weeks of being adopted when obviously I only understood Korean! I can't be sure why I did this because I don't even recall doing this.

Dr. Wilkinson's concluded that this was common in her study and that it was due to each adoptee wanting to "fit in" into their new culture and surroundings as fast as possible. She further postulated that this was driven by each adoptee wanting to be accepted by their new family and their new surroundings (thus contributing to the success and permanance of their adoption). New adoptees tended to believe if they blend in fast and quickly, then their new adoptive parents will have less reason to send them back. While I can't say for sure whether or not this applied to me, I do know that it makes sense. I think my parents agree in that they contribute it to my will to "fit in" as quickly as possible. I'm not sure if this was out of "fear" of being sent back if I didn't "fit in" quickly or not, but I suppose it could have been.

Another phase that Dr. Wilkinson recognized in her study was "identifying" with other Koreans (or sometimes just asians). This was of course after the child overcame or grew out of the phase above of rejecting one's culture. I vividly remember this phase of my life. A year after being in the US, my parents enrolled me in pre-school. At the pre-school I remember my best friend was another Korean boy (I think Korean, definitely asian), we believed we were brothers because we were both asian so we believed we were related.

I used to ridicule ethnic groups in the US for "clumping" together (not necessarily ridicule, but couldn't understand why people would clump together). Developing little sub-cultures such as China Town, Korea Town, Mexican Town, amongst larger cities. In these areas you will hear the appropriate foreign language and authentic food. I couldn't understand how people could live in the US and never learning how to speak English, and only speaking their native tongues. My feelings were probably due to the fact that I grew up in a very prodominantly white suburb of Detroit. So when I was growing up, I couldn't believe that people would want to isolate themselves from American society. In the last couple of years, my view on this has changed. I can now understand why they would be drawn to living in the same areas as other people with the same ethnicity.

I think I have re-entered the "identifying" phase. I seem to find myself more drawn to asians lately. For the first time in my life I the majority of my friends are asian, and mostly Korean. I recently moved, so I was in search of a new church. I have to admit that I decided to see if there was an Asian church I could go to. I found one and I found that I really liked the people and have since made a lot of friends. I'll have to say, I rather enjoy it. Its not that we are exclusively asians, there are a couple non-asians. What I found is that we just naturally have things in common. Obviously we enjoy the same foods, similar secondary languages, and similar interests in pop-culture (ie K-music and K-dramas). This makes it very easy and comfortable to develop relationships with this crowd.

This recent event in my life has opened my eyes and made me realize that it does seem easier to relate when you share a common ethnicity/race with people. One thing I'm sure other adopted Koreans can relate too is introducing our non-asian friends to Korean food. The foods in particular are seaweed and especially kimchee. Depending on what kind of personalities your friends have some of them make quite the commotion about eating seaweed and kimchee. Particularly the smell of kimchee and the smell of kimchee when it "leaks" through the pores in your skin. Cultural differences such as these can definitely hinder making friendships with people who don't understand or have a "nose" for kimchee. A fellow blogger (Kim Yoonmi) talks about this issue in her blog: Here

Prior to my visits to Korea, I always lived in white societies and the vast majority of my friends were also white. Not that this is bad, actually I have some excellent friends. However, sometimes I just fealt that I didn't "fit in". So when the opportunity came to visit Korea for the first time, I was really excited that I was finally going to blend in and "fit in". I quickly found out that I was going to be disappointed. Sure I blended in by looks, but as soon as I opened my mouth I stick out like a sore thumb.

I definitely don't want to downplay the relationships I have developed with some of the best people I have ever met in my life in Korea. I met some really nice people in Korea. Some people that I will never forget and I will always remain in contact with all of my life. I would have to say that Koreans on a whole are very kind and helpful people.

However, I never felt like I didn't "fit in" more than during my travels in Korea. Ironically where I thought I would "fit in" the most, it turns out that I felt I stuck out the most. The language factor is probably the biggest reason I felt that I didn't "fit in" as well as I thought as I would. Since I love Korean food, and my Korean friends say that I am very much Korean except my language (ie my sense of humor and my interest in Korean pop-culture); I believe that language is the single biggest factor of "fitting in". Which is probably why I felt that I didn't "fit in" as well in Korea as in the US.

Sometimes it was external factors that made me feel like I didn't "fit in". Such as the one restaurant owner who refused to serve me because I didn't speak Korean. But more often than not it was my own internal feelings that made me feel like I didn't "fit in". I was so frustrated with myself on several occasions:
1. Trying to tell a taxi where to go
2. Trying to figure out what to eat for lunch or dinner
were the two most common instances where I this feeling was greatest. This feeling of not "fitting in" was not put on me other people. Instead this feeling came from internally. It was more of a feeling of shame of myself. To be honest, it was very discouraging at times. Luckily I met some really nice people in Korea who definitely made my trips worth while. But this whole scenario has put a huge drive in my life to re-learn my native language. I have purhcased and used Rosetta Stone, Pimsleur, and now I take private lessons to try and learn Korean. I truely do believe that the language barrier is the primary factor of whether or not I feel like I "fit in". This is not to discount the other factors. Like I said, in my recent move, I think I have been able to make friends much quicker not only because I share the same language, but also because we share a commone sub-culture of asian food and pop-culture.

Now I can understand people wanting to "clump" together with people from their ethnicity. Particularly when language is a factor. I'm not sure that I will make decisions on where I will live in the future based on this, but I'm sure it will be in my mind when I do have to make the decision.

"Fitting In" (Part 1)

I am the type of people where I can move and live anywhere and get along. Technically I think I prefer bigger cities, but I still enjoyed my 5 years of living in a town of 6000 people. I am able to adjust and adapt to my surroundings. I don't know if this has to do with being adopted, and having gone through a huge adaption (change in culture and language) or if its just my personality. I won't dwell on that aspect long because either way, I'm glad that I have this trait.

I am an extreme introvert. My friends will laugh if they read this because I think I am very talkative around them. I mean, I have no problems talking with my friends. What most of my friends don't realize is that if they were a stranger on the street, I would never in a million years talk to them. They also don't know that when we first met, it literally made me sick to my stomach. Whenever I meet new people are in large groups (even large groups of my friends), it makes me feel nauseous. Even in a comfortable setting like in my own church. I can hardly bear the "greeting" time because there are over 10 people (even though I know them all) that I might have to "deal with". When I try to explain to my friends they just don't seem to understand, and they usually laugh because they think they know me better. Its not just butterflies and nervousness, its literally a sickness in my stomach.

The only reason why my friends don't realize that I have this problem is because I force myself to overcome this fear. I know this is a weakness in terms of meeting new people and that realistically I could be perfectly content and happy living a "hermit" style life (which is dangerous for an introvert). So even though it makes me sick to my stomach thinking about it and doing it, I force myself to deal with it. Like I mentioned above; even after I overcome it I still face it every week. Church for example. Even though I know most of the people there, I still get nauseous every Sunday when we are supposed to get up and greet everyone. Or during "fellowship" after church. A big room with lots of people, is probably my biggest fear in life.

Even though I have done it many times, the fear never subsides, it never reduces and never gets easier to do. I have put myself in these situations each week at church, and doing it today, is no easier than my first visit.

I kind of went off on a tangent, so I will split this post into two parts, the second part will resume where I meant to lead this post.

MLK Jr. Day!

Its been a little while since I posted last. I've enjoyed a little rest/break the last couple of days. I've been traveling a lot for work, and its wearing me down a little. However, I did get a nice rest this weekend with MLK Jr. Day off. Its going to be short though because I have to leave tonight for Houston again! I think I'll be glad when my traveling slows down..lol

Neglect! :(

I know I have been away for a while. I actually really miss blogging. My real life has been crazy hectic.

I quit my old job with Marathon Oil Company and started a new job with a bigger oil company. I travel a lot within the US now for my new job. As you can tell from my previous posts, I have been to Houston quite a few times.

I actually have a useful kitchen now! I have been cooking some new dishes, I just have not had time to post them. Maybe tonight or tomorrow I'll start posting some more pictures of the food Ive been cooking.

Also, Hopefully my new blog design is almost complete and should be on-line within the next week or two!!

Crap!

I just realized that my recent posts have not been updating on Blogger...anyone else having this problem? Im fairly certain I posted 3-5 posts last week while I was in Houston.

Sorry it took me this long to realize that nothing is updating. I'll have to go back to my picture archives and re-write all of my posts...lol

My new blog site is currently being designed and I must say it looks pretty sweet. I can't wait to launch the new site with graphics, Im getting really excited!

Korean Lessons!

I love my Korean lessons!!! This is exactly what I needed to do. I have tried Rosetta Stone and Pimsleur CDs. Supposedly the best programs in their respective fields. While they are cheaper ($300 for Rosetta Stone and $250 for Pimsleur) then several classes and definitely cheaper than a private tutor (going rate seems to be about $30 per hour), they just don't compare to the face to face interaction.

When I had no other alternative Rosetta Stone and Pimsleur were fine. The problems I see with using these methods were:
1. You had to rely on your own ear on whether or not you are pronouncing the words correctly. Which is OK for a Romance language (ie French or Spanish), but for a new language that does even share the same alphabet base, this task is near impossible.
2. Learning proper grammer and sentance structure takes a lot longer.
3. No one to ask questions about pronunciations or grammer.
4. Boring. Do you realize how boring it is sitting in front of a computer? Wait...that sounds like my job...lol...j/k.

Anyways, if you can afford it I would highly recommend a class oe tutor over a self taught program. Maybe you can trade cooking lessons for language classes?

Moved In!

After 3 weeks here it is!


My new house! Well its not new, it was actually built in 1992. I haven't been blogging on a regular basis lately because I have been so busy starting a new job with a new company, living in a hotel, and recently buying a house and moving in...phew...oh on top of that Ive started playing in a hockey league, and the best thing of all I started Korean Language lessons (More on that later).

Now Im sitting in my basement with my TV, watching House reruns because Im so overwhelmed with the hundreds of boxes that needs unpacking....I cant just unpack because all of my clothes and dishes and everything has been in storage for 2 weeks so it all has to be washed before I can. phew....I am slowly unpacking the kitchen first (priorities...lol). I think next will be clothes, then my desktop computer....again priorities...lol

Homeless!

Yes, I am officially homeless! :(

My house was sold on Friday, August 29th, and I have no new home yet :(
The movers came last Wednesday and they packed all of my stuff up in boxes and took it away! I have 1 big suitcase of clothes and my laptop...nothing else! However, if you ever have to move this is definitely the way to do it...My mother tells me that its uber-expensive though...like $10,000+!!! I cant imagine!! luckily for me my company paid for all of my moving expenses including this moving company that packs for you! It is really nice way to move, but if I had to pay $10,000 for it I think Id rent the Uhaul for $150 and do it myself...lol


I am staying at my friends house for a couple of days. When I start my job this Thursday I have to find a hotel to stay at. I looked at one place it charged $100/day with a 30 day minimum...uh..thats $3000 for a month!!!!!! No Thanks!!! I think I'll stay at the Holiday Inn!

Actually I have a new house already picked out. My closing date is Sept. 10th so I only need a room for about a week, so I'll probably go to a hotel for a week.