"The Calling"

I was talking to a friend of mine last week. We were walking around a park, just talking about life in general. I think everyone needs a friend who they can just talk with, because it is totally refreshing and therapeutic. Anyway I digress...back on topic.

As were walking my friend said something to this effect: "Why do all Koreans either have gone back to Korea or really want to go back to Korea..usually as an English teacher or anyway they can. Its weird, because no other ethnicity has such a strong urge to go back to their country as Koreans that I know." (BTW, this friend is not Korean) I laughed, because it seems so true. It seems that most Koreans that I have either lived in the motherland for an extended period of time or really want to visit/live in the motherland sometime in the future.

If your Korean you may know what I am talking about...then again maybe you don't (or maybe you just have not experienced "The Calling" yet).

"The Calling" is what I am terming the urge for a Korean to return to the Motherland.

No matter if your adopted, gyopo, or FOB, I think a large percentage of Koreans seem to get "The Calling" at some point of their lives. Some Koreans get it early, and for some people it doesn't occur until later in their lives. Apparently I was sort of a late bloomer. I didn't really get "The Calling" until after my first visit to the motherland. This may sound weird, but even leading up to my first visit to the motherland, I didn't really feel that excited. I felt like I was paying my respects, not much different from traveling to any other foreign country. But after my first visit, I had it bad! I still do, which is probably why I blog about stuff about the motherland or my crazy thoughts.

While people from other ethnicities may have something similar, it seems like Koreans in particular have a very high rate of "The Calling" amongst its people.

I wonder what percentage of Koreans have been to Korea at least once in their life, and how that compares to any other country?

Share your thoughts? If your Korean, do you have "The Calling" in you?

Adopted Koreans

Recently, I had an article published in the Korean Herald talking about my adoption and my recent travels to Korea. I have been contacted by a few readers who have had similar experiences as myself or unique ones to share.

One of hte readers, Mari Cochran, made a comment to my original post. I would like to pull and excerpt from her comment to discuss further. I hope she doesnt mind, but I think since it was posted as a comment that it is "public domain"? If not, then please let me know and I will change the post.

Mari recently wrote:
"The "us" - American-Koreans who have gone through the same thing - living in America, looking Korean, a mixed hybrid of both cultures - never truely fitting in to either culture. I have met many of "us" out there and we share a few things in common other than our experiences - we love to travel - I think it is because we can't quite identify completely with a particular culture so that we constantly float around, looking for it. Even after returning to Korea (as he did and I did), you still don't fit in because you can't talk the language - even the way we walk, dress, handle ourselves in a crowd is different from a native Korean. We don't get hung up about adoption and not knowing all the facts as other kinds of adoptees seem to - we have the same attitude as many koreans - it happened, it's in the past, get over it and move on. I think Koreans are as a culture pragmatists - we've been pushed and pulled by our neighbors so long that we have developed a thick skin and in a way, developed our own unique independent attitude that has passed down through the bloodlines."

After reading her comment, I was wondering if she was talking about only Korean adoptees or also American born Koreans? At the beginning of the comment it appeared to be both, but at the end of the comment its definitely geared towards Korean adoptees. Which lead me to question, do Korean adoptees feel/experience differently from American born Koreans?

I think yes and no. In the aspect of "wanting to return to Korea for the experience" and then also the "not fitting in when they arrive to Korea" they experience fairly closely what adopted Koreans experience. However, the general experiences from these two groups may overlap they are definitely different.

More often than not, the American born Koreans (just for clarification, kids who were born in the US to Korean parents, or maybe moved to the US when they were very young, where they don't remember Korea) usually speak Korean. Which gives them a huge "step up" over adopted Koreans who I think typically may not speak Korean. If they do speak Korean it is because they had to learn through formal training versus speaking it at home.

Language is one of the biggest factors which separates cultures, which is why I think there is a big difference between these two groups. I wonder if the "drive" to learn about Korea, Korean food, language, and culture is more so in adopted Koreans than American born Koreans because they are further removed from it? I know this "drive" to learn about Korea is really strong in me right now. I wonder if it is as powerful as it is because I grew up so far removed from it, that now its like a counter-balance for all of those years where I didn't experience Korean culture? Compared to an American born Korean, who may have the same "drive" but not as strong because they have had a little more exposure to it than I have?

Maybe Im crazy, and I don't know how you would be able to measure someone's "drive" or motivation towards something. Or maybe its just person to person. I wonder if all Korean adoptees experience what Im feeling right now(a strong urge/drive/motivation to learn and experience as much Korean stuff as I can) at some point in their lives? I know if you had asked me this 10 years ago, I would have laughed. 10 years ago, I had no interest in Korean culture.

I especially like the last part of Mari's comments, how Korean adoptees are also different from other adoptees. Also how we seem to have this "thicker skin" that has been passed down our bloodlines. I wonder if there are any studies on adopted Koreans. I see a lot of similarities in what Mari has written and what Ive read from the few other adopted Koreans I have met. I wonder if adopted Koreans have somehow developed a "culture" of our own. We don't have our own language, or our own food, but we all share a common life experience that only we know about. We share this drive to identify with a culture, and to learn about Korea, and to someday return to the motherland.

Something unique about this "culture" that adopted Koreans might have, is that it was not formed as a group. With the exception of Minnesota, which oddly has a large population of adopted Koreans, our "culture" originated individually amongst each one of us, on our own. This is kind of reverse of how "culture" is traditionally definited. Usually its a common thing amongst a group of people. However for adopted Koreans it has had to develop in each of us individually and when you look at our group as whole you find this "culture". I guess it is very fitting that this "culture" of adopted Koreans is untraditional and has had to adapt because of our unique situation, similarly to how untraditional our experiences have been and how we have had to adapt to our surroundings.

Nothing Beats Home Cooking! (Part II)

So not even 24 hours later, my family went back to Hanguk for another "home cooked" Korean meal at my request!!! My family is so nice! They know how much I miss Korean food!

This time, my family was joined by my grandpa, my cousin and his wife!

I had dweiji bulgogi (spicy pork):


Here is my cousin, Pat, enjoying his Japchae!!


If you couldn't tell he's adopted...

In our family we say that he and his older brother and younger sister are adopted. This is because in our family, there are 4 adopted Korean grandkids, and 3 biologic grandkids. So the adopted Korean grandkids outnumber the biological kids. So its our inside joke that totally confuses everyone when we explain that the white kids are the "adopted" grandkids in our family...lol. We are definitely not concerned about being Politically Correct...lol

My cousin is married to Megan (pronounced Mee - gan, NOT Meh-gan!!!) who also joined us for lunch. She had bulgogi, but I won't show the picture I took of her eating. My cousin Pat and I have no dignity when it comes to food. Megan is much higher class than Pat or I so I'll spare her photo. She does enjoy bulgogi, but I don't think we have her converted on kimchi yet. You would be proud of Pat, he can put away kimchi with the best of Koreans!

Nothing Beats Home Cooking!

My parents don't cook much Korean food. About the only things we make at home are rice and bulgogi. Although bulgogi was usually with me involved, so I don't think they cook it much when I am not around. Of course thats my point of view, I could be wrong....

Even though my parents didn't cook Korean food while I was growing up, they did always make sure that I had a good supply of rice and kimchee. I personally really like gak duggi (깍두기).

Since my parents knowledge of cooking Korean food was very limited, we did go to a local Korean restaurant at least once a month. The restaurant is a small room that is attached to a Korean grocery store. The same grocery store that my parents have been buying rice and kimchee from since I was adopted. That is over 23 years! Back then the store didn't have a restaurant. It was only a grocery store.

When I first arrived the only "Korean" restaurant was actually a Chinese restaurant that happened to have a few Korean dishes. Of which my personal favorite was jajangmyeon. To this day, I love this dish, although I do not get it much. Anyways, this restaurant closed about 15 years ago.

A few months later, the Korean grocery store opened a small restaurant in a room that was attached to the store. The Korean store is creatively called Hanguk...lol

My family has been going to this restaurant since it opened and consider it the best Korean in Detroit. It is a mom and pop establishment, with the grandmother cooking the meals, and the sister and kids helping to run the store. They have known myself and my sister all of our lives.

A few years ago, we were talking to them about the other Chinese restaurant, and they started to laugh. They informed us that they were the owners of that restaurant! Which is why they opened the restaurant in the grocery store after the Chinese restaurant closed!

Anyways, since this is our favorite Korean restaurant and we have essentially been patrons of this family for over 23 years now, I consider it "home cooked" Korean food. They make the best kimchi in the world! Even with all my travels all around Korea; Hanguk makes and sells the best kimchi and gak dukki! The only place that even compares is Mrs. Hong who makes her own kimchi in Seoul!

Since Im visiting Detroit for Thanksgiving, I was able to have "home cooked" Korean twice!

First time was Friday for dinner. I went with my parents, and sister.
We had Kimbop:


Mandu:


We were hungry:


My sister and I both had yukgajang (Sorry, I couldnt get blogger to upload the image right side up):


My father had the fried mackerel and my mother had bimbimbop:





Yes, my mother is scraping out the guchujang...she doesnt like real spicy food.

And of course the world famous banchan! (only because I am posting it on my blog...lol) Although I have to say it is the best banchan I've ever had. Even better than in Korea, Houston, San Francisco, and St. Louis. Like the Kimchi, Mrs. Hong's banchan is the only one to ever beat my "home cooked" meals!

Thanksgiving Dinner!

Thanksgiving this year was real small. Just my family (mom, dad, sister, and grandpa) and 1 of my dad's graduate students. But we still had a feast: Turkey, stuffing, mash potatoes, corn, gravy, green bean casserole, salad, and apple pie!
Finished Turkey:


Getting lessons on how to carve a Turkey:


Finished Product:


Table full of food:


I so over ate (Plate 1):


Plate 2:


Here is the apple pie that I baked from scratch. The crust was excellent, probably one of my best. The filling for some reason didnt solidify very well...so it was still a little liquidy, it still tasted good:


Here is how I eat my pie (actually, I don't really like pies. I like baking, but I don't really like pies). As you can see from the picture, I prefer whipped cream to pie...lol


For those of you in Korea, I hope you were able to enjoy a yummy Thanksgiving meal. If not, hopefully these pictures will hold you over until you come back to the US!

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

Its Thanksgiving in the US. Happy Thanksgiving to all of you people in Korea who can't have the day off! :(

I will post more pictures of our Thanksgiving meal when its made. I got up this morning and baked this for my family! Its from scratch, even the crust! It looks really good, I'll give a full report when we eat it!

Published

I think I posted before that I was contacted by the Korean Herald about writing a human interest article about being adopted.

Well, if your in Korea, you can pick up a Tuesday and Wednesday copy, you will see my article. It was originally only supposed to be 1 page, but after I got done they decided to print the whole thing over two days!

If your not in Korea, or unable to find it, you can read it:
HERE

I hope that works. It should take you to a google webpage that has 3 pdf documents at the bottom of it. Click on those pdf files, they are pdf's of the article.